


I Hacked the Pentagon, Didn't I?  Or, Babies Are Not Computers

by StBridget



Series: The Spies and the Baby [4]
Category: MacGyver (TV 2016)
Genre: Babysitting, Family Fluff, Gen, helicopter parenting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-05
Updated: 2018-08-05
Packaged: 2019-06-22 07:24:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15576759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StBridget/pseuds/StBridget
Summary: When Mac, Jack, and Bozer get an overseas mission, Riley is left to watch Kelly.





	I Hacked the Pentagon, Didn't I?  Or, Babies Are Not Computers

**Author's Note:**

> MacGyver is property of CBS and its creators.
> 
> This isn't my favorite--it drags and bit, and I'm not happy with the ending--but hopefully you'lll like it.

“Do we have to?” Jack whined.

Matty glared at him.  “Yes, you have to, Jack.”

“But why?”

“Because you’re my only team with the security clearance for this.”  “This” was interrogating a suspected high-level terrorist from the Middle East Interpol had intercepted and Phoenix was very interested in.  Interpol wouldn’t release their prisoner to Phoenix, but they did, reluctantly, agree to let the organization send a team to interrogate him.  Said team consisted of Jack, Mac, and Bozer.

“But somebody has to stay behind to watch Kelly!” Jack protested.  He wrapped his arms protectively around the baby in the sling across his chest.  She gurgled happily and patted his arm where she could reach.

Riley raised her hand from her place on one of the sofas.  “I’m staying.”

“Ga-ga,” Kelly said, as if reinforcing what Riley said.

Jack ignored her.  “Why does Bozer have to go?” Jack wanted to know.  “Can’t he stay?”

“Bozer is my best interrogator with Cage gone,” Matty said.  It was true—after acing the interrogation exercise at spy school, Bozer had been assisting with more and more interrogations with spectacular results.  He’d been reluctant at first—the whole experience at school had left a sour taste in his mouth—but knowing the subjects would just as soon kill themselves—or him--as talk went a long way towards lessening that.

Riley waved her hand to get Jack’s attention.  “Remember me over here?”

Kelly pointed at the hacker.  “Wi-wi.”

Jack still paid her no attention.  “Then, why does Mac have to go?” Jack pressed.

“Because he speaks the language,” Matty said, as though explaining things to a small child, which, given that this was Jack, was a fair approximation.

Riley raised her other hand and waved them both in the air.  “Hello!”

Kelly raised her hands, mimicking Riley.

No response.  “So, why do I have to go?” Jack demanded.

“What, and leave Mac unprotected?” Matty said.  “You always complain Mac gets into trouble if you’re not there.”

“They’re going to be in a building full of spies in France.  How much trouble can they get into?” Jack said.

Matty just gave him A Look.

Jack had to concede the point.  Mac did have a knack of getting into trouble when Jack wasn’t there.  That settled it--no matter how “safe” the mission, Mac was not going anywhere without Jack.  “Then, why can’t we take her with us? It’s nice and civilized, and no one is likely to be shooting at us.”  Knowing them, that was a flat-out lie, but Jack was optimistic.

“Because I don’t think Interpol would take kindly to a baby in their headquarters,” Matty said.  “Jack, you, Mac, and Bozer are going, and Kelly’s staying.  That’s final.”

“Guys, aren’t you forgetting someone?” Riley said, loudly.

Jack deflated.  “Okay, fine, you’re right.  You’ll just have to watch Kelly.”

Riley couldn’t take any more.  She leaped up and crowded into Jack’s personal space.  “WHAT ABOUT ME?!?!” she screamed in his face.

Her outburst startled Kelly.  “Waaaaah!” she wailed.

Jack blinked as though seeing her for the first time.  “You’ve never watched her before.”

Riley was incensed.  “What do you mean I haven’t watched her before?  I’ve watched her plenty of times!”  Kelly broke out into full-on screaming.  Riley gently removed her from the sling and rocked her.  “It’s okay, sweetheart.  I didn’t mean to upset you.  Daddy Jack’s just being a stubborn old fool,” Riley cooed.  Kelly settled down almost immediately.  “See?  I can do just fine.”

“Yes, but you’ve only watched her here with people around to help you,” Jack pointed out.  “Never on your own and never overnight, let alone two nights.”  It was true.  Riley had only watched Kelly during work hours at Phoenix HQ; after work, Mac and Jack (mostly Jack) wouldn’t let Kelly out of their sight.  Mac and Jack had been gone overnight before, but only one night and still in the US, and Bozer had been available.  This was the first time they’d be gone more than that, even if it was only two nights, and the first time they’d be overseas, even if it was a first-world country with excellent communication access.

Jack had a point, but Riley refused to give up.  “It can’t be that much different.  She’s only eight months old.”

Mac had been standing next to Jack watching the exchange without say a word.  Now, he spoke for the first time.  “You have no idea, Riles.”

Riley had come this far; she wasn’t backing down now.  “I hacked the Pentagon, didn’t I?  Surely, I can watch a baby overnight.”

“Babies are not computers,” Mac reminded her.  “Believe me, if they were like mechanical devices, I’d be set, but they don’t work with set rules.”

Riley just glared at them.  Jack glared right back.  It looked like they’d be at a stand-off indefinitely until Matty broke in.  “Enough.  I’m not watching the kid, so it’s Riley or nothing.”

Jack sighed, defeated.  There was no arguing with that tone of voice.  “Fine.  Riley can watch her.”

Riley beamed, happy to get her way.  She looked down at Kelly.  “Hear that, baby girl?  It’s just you and me for the next two days.”

Jack fixed her with a steely gaze.  “You’d better take good care of my kid,” he said.  “Nothing better happen to her.”  His voice was laden with the promise of dire things happening to Riley should Kelly come to harm.  Riley knew they weren’t empty threats; she’d be lucky if all he did was shoot her if anything happened.  At least then, Riley would die quickly.

“Nothing will,” Riley assured him.  “Besides, you’ll still have cell phone access.  You can call and check on her as often as you like.”

“Oh, I’ll call, alright,” Jack said.  “Count on it.”

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Twelve hours later, Riley was regretting her bold statement.  Jack had taken her at her word, calling from the airport in LA before they took off, and an hour into the flight, and two hours in, and every hour on the hour until they landed when he called her again.  And again when they reached the hotel.  The next time Jack called, Riley had had it.  She snatched up her phone.  “What?” she barked into it.

“You’d better not be talking to my kid like that,” Jack’s voice came through the line.

“Of course not!” Riley said, offended.  “I save that for annoying old men who don’t know WHEN TO LEAVE A GIRL ALONE!”  Her voice rose dangerously on the last bit.  Kelly, disturbed from her sleep against Riley’s shoulder began to fuss.  Riley stroked the baby’s back.  “Shh, it’s okay,” Riley said, soothingly.  “I’m not upset at you.  Daddy Jack’s just being stupid again.”

Jack clearly heard Kelly in the background.  “Why’s she upset?” he asked anxiously.  “Is something wrong?”

“Nothing except being disturbed by the phone ringing.  Again,” Riley said, exasperated.

“Why is she up? Isn’t it past her bedtime?  You’re not letting her stay up late, are you?” Jack said.

Jack’s helicopter parenting was driving Riley crazy.  If this was what he was like while Kelly was a baby, she shuddered to think how he’d be when Kelly was a teenager and started dating.  Riley pitied any boy who set his sights on Jack’s daughter.

“I was just about to put her to bed when you called,” Riley said.  “And if you’d hang up, I could finish.”  She couldn’t keep the frustration out of her voice.

“You know what to do, right?  I can walk you through it.”  Jack clearly wasn’t letting it go.

Riley sighed.  Jack was getting on her last nerve.  “I can handle it, Jack.  I have put her down for naps.  Same thing.”

She heard Jack take a breath and knew he was about to speak again.  She cut him off.  “And if I have trouble, I can always follow the instructions you left.”  Jack had made sure Riley had a list of what to do in any situation—a very detailed one.  Pages and pages of instructions.  Riley was pretty sure Jack had covered every contingency short of the world ending.  Come to think of it, if she looked hard enough, she’d probably find that, too.

“Are you sure?” Jack asked, doubtfully.

“Positive,” Riley said, firmly.  “Good night, Jack.”  She hung up before he could say anything else.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Jack stared at the phone.  “She hung up on me.”

“I can hardly blame her,” Mac said from across the room where he was getting ready for bed.  It was late, and they had to be at Interpol early, but they’d learned to take advantage of every opportunity to sleep, however brief.  “You have been calling practically non-stop since we left.”

Jack ignored his husband.  “Maybe I should call her back and make sure she got Kelly down alright.”  His hand hovered over the call button.

Mac was across the room in the blink of an eye.  He snatched the phone from Jack’s hands.  “Jack, leave Riley alone.  She’ll be fine.  Kelly will be fine.  And if anything does go wrong—which it won’t—Riley will call us.  Besides, as you reminded her, you did leave instructions.  Anything that comes up, Riley can handle.”

Jack reached for the phone.  “Just let me say goodnight.”

Mac held the phone out of reach.  “You should have done that before,” he said.

Jack attempted the puppy dog eyes, but he wasn’t very good at it.  Mac was unmoved.  “Please, Mac.  I won’t be able to sleep unless I know she’s alright.”

“Jack, you just talked to Riley five minutes ago.  I’m absolutely positive nothing’s happened since then.” 

Jack was doubtful.  In their lives, an awful lot could happen in five minutes.  “Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure,” Mac said.  “Jack, it’s 3 am.  We have to be at Interpol at 8.  Get some sleep.  You can call Riley tomorrow.”

“Okay,” Jack said, not very graciously.  “I’ll call when we get up.”

“You’ll do no such thing,” Mac said, firmly.  “It’ll be the middle of the night in LA.  You don’t want to wake Kelly, do you?”

It was a low blow, but it worked.  “So, how long do I have to wait?” Jack wanted to know.

“You can call her after we’re done with the interrogation tomorrow,” Mac said.

“But that’s at least 12 hours,” Jack whined.

“Most of which they’ll be asleep for,” Mac pointed out.  “Remember, California’s nine hours behind us.”

Jack sighed.  “Fine.  But I’m calling as soon as we finish.” 

“I wouldn’t expect anything else,” Mac said.  He climbed into bed, tucking Jack’s phone under his pillow just in case.  “Now, come to bed.”

Reluctantly, Jack did.  To his surprise, he actually fell asleep.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Riley was glad she hadn’t let Jack stay on the phone while she put Kelly to bed.  It turned out to be a lot more involved than putting her down for a nap, which mostly consisted of tucking her into the playpen in the War Room with her stuffed animal, covering her with a blanket, and hoping she didn’t wake up for at least two hours.  Bed included a final bottle, a bath, and a changing before tucking her in.  Well, might as well get it over with.

The bottle was no problem.  By now, Riley was an old pro with giving Kelly a bottle.  Solid food could still hold some challenges, but bottles were easy—pour in the formula, heat it in the microwave, and give it to Kelly.  No sweat.

The bath proved to be more difficult.  Riley filled the baby bath in the bathroom sink with water she hoped was the right temperature.  She gently lowered Kelly into it. 

Kelly let out a scream.  Riley immediately snatched her out of the water.  “Oh, my god, Kelly, I’m so sorry!  Is it too hot?”  Riley dumped out the water and filled it with water that was barely room temperature.  “Here, this should be better.”

Riley started to lower Kelly back into the bath, but Kelly clung to her.  “No!” she screamed.  “No, no, no!”

“It’s okay, Kelly.  The water’s nice and cool now, see?”  Riley scooped up a handful and gently dripped it over Kelly.  The wailing got louder.

Riley was getting desperate.  She snatched the rubber ducky next to the tub and squeaked it.  “Look, Kelly, it’s Mr. Ducky.  Don’t you want to play with Mr. Ducky?”  The crying didn’t let up.  Next, Riley snatched a starfish toy.  “Okay, how about Mr. Starfish?”  She made the toy dance in front of Kelly.  Kelly stopped crying and watched it.  Relieved, Riley kept wiggling the toy as she moved towards the water with Kelly.  She got Kelly in the water and gave her the toy.  Kelly put it in her mouth and sucked on it.  Good enough.  At least she was quiet.  Riley scooped up a cup of water and poured it over Kelly’s head.  The baby started wailing again.

“Did I get water in your eyes?  Oh, god, I forgot, I’m supposed to cover them.  I’m so sorry, Kelly!  I’m glad it wasn’t shampoo.”  She grabbed a washcloth with a bear head on it and gently wiped Kelly’s eyes.  She then waved the cloth in front of Kelly.  “There, there, Kelly,” Riley said in a deep voice she hoped was suitable for a bear.  “All better.”  The crying calmed down to hiccups.

Riley managed to wash Kelly’s hair without further incident.  When she wet the washcloth to wash Kelly, Kelly watched the ripples in fascination.  “You like those?” Riley said.  She dragged the cloth through the water again, causing more ripples. 

“Wa-wa,” Kelly said, slapping her hands into the water.

“That’s right,” Riley said.  “Water.”  She gently splashed Kelly, getting more slapping in turn.  This went on for a bit until Kelly got overly enthusiastic and sent a big wave of water at Riley, completely soaking her.  Riley laughed.  “Okay, sweetheart, that’s enough of that.  Let’s get you washed.”  She suited actions to words and quickly got the child washed.  Riley lifted Kelly out of the water and reached for a towel, only to find out it was soaked.  Riley decided to use one of Mac and Jack’s towels on the rack, only to discover they were damp, too.  Dismayed, Riley looked around.  The whole bathroom was flooded.  Water covered the counter and rolled down to the floor.  The bath mats were saturated and squished when Riley moved.  Water had even splashed onto the walls.  Nothing was dry.

Now what?  Riley was stumped.  She didn’t want Kelly to get cold, but the nearest towels were in the linen closet in the hall.  She couldn’t wrap Kelly in the clothes Riley had set out, because they were drenched, and Riley couldn’t use her t-shirt for Kelly because that was wet, too.  She felt the towel on the rack, hoping maybe it wasn’t as bad as she thought.  Fortunately, there was a strip on the back that was reasonably dry.  Riley patted Kelly dry as best she could.  The new outfit was a total loss, as was the new diaper.  Oh, well.  Wrapped in the towel, Riley carried Kelly into the bedroom and set her on the changing table.  She made swift work of putting on a new diaper.  She thought about finding a dry outfit but was frankly too exhausted to bother.  Riley placed Kelly in the crib and snuggly wrapped her in the blanket.  The hacker kissed the child on top of her head.  “Nighty-night, Kelly.”

Kelly wasn’t ready to go to sleep yet.  “Ti-ti,” she demanded.

How could Riley forget Kelly’s stuffed tiger?  It was her favorite.  Riley looked around and didn’t see it.  “Ti-ti’s not here, sweetheart.”  She picked up Kelly’s second favorite toy, a big stuffed dog from Bozer.  “How about Pup-pup instead?”

Kelly’s face scrunched up.  Riley knew another outburst was pending.  “No!  Ti-ti!”

“Okay, okay, I’ll find Ti-ti!”  Riley was alarmed.  Surely, all that crying couldn’t be good for Kelly.  Riley scooped the child into her arms, bouncing her gently until she mostly settled down.  “Don’t worry, we’ll find Ti-ti.” 

Riley looked around the nursery, but didn’t see the stuffed tiger.  She carried Kelly out to the living room, hoping they’d left it on the couch.  No luck.  It wasn’t anywhere in the living room that Riley could see.  Kelly was gearing up for another wailing session.  Riley couldn’t let that happen.  Awkwardly, she peered under the coffee table, then under and behind the couch.  No Ti-ti.  Riley set Kelly on the floor, and the two of them crawled about, looking for the tiger.  Riley was just about to give up hope when she found it wedged behind the TV.  How on earth did it get there?  Riley decided to just be grateful they’d found it and not wonder how it got there.  She dragged it out and gave it to Kelly.  Kelly immediately began chewing on its ear, suddenly all smiles.  Crisis averted.

Kelly went willingly to sleep after that.  Exhausted, Riley crawled onto the couch and followed soon after.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Kelly woke just before the alarm.  Barely rested because she’d been on edge all night, waiting for some sound from Kelly, Riley rolled ungracefully off the couch, landing in a heap on the floor.  “Coming, Kelly!  Be right there!”

Riley staggered into the nursery and picked up the child.  “Good morning, sweetheart.  Did you sleep well?”  A wail was her only response.  “Right.  I bet you need changing, and then I bet you want breakfast.  Let’s take care of that, shall we?”

Riley changed Kelly’s diaper and went to put her in the onesie she’d picked out.  Kelly kicked her legs happily from where she was laying on the changing table.  “Ga-ga-ga.”

“Come on, hold still,” Riley said.  “I can’t get your legs in your outfit if you don’t hold still.”

The legs continued kicking.  Riley grabbed one of them to hold it still, only to be caught in the face with the other.  “Ouch!”

“Ga-ga,” Kelly said.

Riley knew the child hadn’t meant to hurt her, so she decided to take that as an apology.  This time, Riley grabbed both legs, but that left her with no hands to put on the onesie.  Carefully, Riley let go of one leg.  It fell to the changing table and stayed there.  Riley sighed in relief.  She got the leg she was holding into the outfit and went for the other.  It, too, went easily into the leg hole.  Thank goodness.  Riley even managed to get Kelly’s arms in the outfit.  Good.  Now all she had to do was put on socks and shoes. 

Kelly’s legs were waving in the air again, so Riley bobbed and weaved until she could capture one without getting hit in the face again.  She put the sock on and reached for the other foot.  Kelly put her socked foot in her mouth.  Riley figured it wasn’t going to hurt anything, so she let Kelly suck while she put on the other sock.  That done, Riley reached for shoes, only to discover Kelly had worked the first sock off.  Riley replaced it and picked up the shoe again.  She got it on with only a little difficulty and grabbed the second shoe, only to find the other foot was now sockless.  By the time the second sock was on again, the first shoe was off.  After several rounds of this, Riley decided Kelly could go barefoot.  After all, this was LA.  It’s not like it would get that cold.  Satisfied she’d done the best she could with dressing Kelly, Riley moved on to breakfast.

Riley got Kelly settled in her high chair and fetched a jar of Bozer’s homemade applesauce (he refused to let Kelly eat store-bought food, insisting his was much better.  He was probably right).  She opened it, scooped up a spoonful, and held it out to Kelly.  “Look, sweetheart, applesauce.  Your favorite.”  Riley had no idea whether it was or not, but whatever.

Apparently, applesauce was not Kelly’s favorite.  Kelly knocked the spoon out of the way, hitting Riley in the eye with the applesauce.  Riley wiped it off with her sleeve and tried again.  This time, Kelly let Riley put the spoon in her mouth, but spit out the applesauce as soon as Riley withdrew the spoon, applesauce dribbling down Kelly’s face and neck onto her bib.  The next two attempts got batted away.  One nailed Riley in the chest, and the other landed on her right shoulder.  Riley was just about to attempt a fifth try when her phone range.

Riley glanced at the display.  Jack.  Great, just great.  On the one hand, Riley was extremely grateful Jack had waited until—she checked her watch and did the calculation in her head—4 pm in France.  Wow, over 12 hours.  Riley was sure she’d get at least one call in the middle of the night.  Thank goodness for her and Kelly’s sake that didn’t happen.  On the other hand, she didn’t really want to talk to Jack in the middle of what was rapidly becoming a breakfast disaster.

“Come on, Kelly, don’t you want to show Daddy Jack what a good girl you are?” Riley cajoled, bringing the spoon to Kelly’s mouth once more.  To the hacker’s relief, the baby swallowed it. 

Riley picked up the phone.  “Hi, Jack.  We’re just having breakfast.”  Kelly chose that moment to spit the applesauce at Riley, hitting just above the collar of her top.  “Dammit, Kelly, just eat already,” Riley swore.

“Riley!  Watch your language!” Jack snapped.

Riley thought that was ironic given how often Jack slipped up, but she apologized anyway.  “Sorry.  We’re just having some minor. . .issues.”  Riley couldn’t lie to Jack, but she didn’t want him to make a big deal out of it, either.

“Is something wrong?” Jack asked, worry evident in his voice.

“No, everything’s. . .” Riley broke off as she noticed Kelly reaching for the jar of applesauce.  “No!  Kelly, don’t!”  Riley moved to snatch it, but was too late.  Kelly upended the jar over her head, applesauce dripping off of her blond curls onto her formerly clean onesie.  “Great.  Now we both have to change.”

Riley had forgotten Jack was on the other end of the lion.  “Is she not eating?  Does she feel okay?  Does she have a fever?”

“Relax, Jack,” Riley said.  “She’s just being. . .picky this morning.  I don’t think she likes applesauce.”

“Oh.”  Some of the worry went out of Jack’s voice.  “Try the mashed bananas and strawberries.  She usually likes that.  Oh, and you have to do the airplane.”

“The airplane?”  Riley had never heard of that.

“Yeah, you know.  The airplane.”

“No, Jack, I don’t know,” Riley said, irritation lacing her voice.  “Enlighten me.”

“You take the spoon and make a path to her mouth making buzzing noises.  Oh, and you have to say ‘here comes the plane into the hangar’”.

Riley gave a mental shrug.  Well, if it worked. . .Riley reached for a new jar and opened it.  The hacker scooped up a spoonful and did as Jack told.  She was sure her airplane noises weren’t as good as Mac’s who was probably indistinguishable from a real plane, but they weren’t bad if she said so herself.  Riley wanted to cheer when Kelly immediately opened her mouth for the spoon.  “Good girl!” Riley praised.  She waited a few seconds, but the food didn’t reappear.  “It worked, Jack!”  Thank goodness.

“Told you so,” Jack said, smugly.  “So, any other problems?  Did she sleep well?”

“Nope, everything’s gone smoothly,” Riley lied.  “She slept like a baby.”  That, at least, was true—Kelly hadn’t stirred between the time Riley put her down and the alarm went off.  Riley wasn’t going to mention the struggle to put Kelly down in the first place.

“Okay, good.”  Jack still sounded doubtful, so Riley hastened to move the conversation along.

“We gotta go, Jack.  We have to change, and Matty will kill us if we’re late.”

“Let me speak to her,” Jack demanded.

Riley obediently held the phone up to Kelly’s ear.  “Look, Kelly, it’s Daddy Jack.”

“Da-da,” Kelly said.

“Yes, darlin’, it’s Da-Da,” Jack crooned.  “Are you being a good girl for Auntie Riley?”

“Ya-ya,” Kelly confirmed.

“What a good girl!  Daddy Jack misses you, but I’ll be home soon.”

Riley took the phone back.  “We need to run.”

Jack seemed reluctant to go.  “Okay.  Have a good day.  Call if you need anything.  We’ll be home in the morning.”

“Don’t worry, Jack,” Riley reassured, “we’ll be fine.”  With that she hung up and surveyed the kitchen.  There was applesauce everywhere.  Between breakfast and last night’s bath, she and Kelly would be fine, but Riley was considerably less certain about the house.  But Riley hadn’t promised Jack the house would be alright, right?  Somehow, Riley didn’t think that would fly with Jack.  She sighed and set about cleaning up the mess.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Jack hung up and frowned at the phone.  “Everything alright?” Mac asked.

“I don’t think Riley’s up to this,” Jack said.  “She didn’t know how to do the airplane.  I’m worried.”

Mac laid a hand on his husband’s shoulder.  “Relax, that’s minor.  She’ll figure it out.”

“No, she won’t,” Jack fretted.  “We should really be there.”

“Well, that’s not happening,” Mac said.  “We can’t exactly rush home.”

“I know!  We won’t be home for another 24 hours!  What if something happens?  Something’s going to happen, I’m sure.”

Mac placed both hands on Jack’s shoulders and drew him in until their foreheads were resting together.  “Nothing’s going to happen, Jack.  Everything will be fine.”

Jack sighed.  “I know, Mac, but I can’t help worrying.  Having a baby is hard, and Riley’s never done this before.”

“Neither had we,” Mac pointed out, “and we did just fine.  We had some rough spots, though.  Remember the first few days?”

Jack did.  He didn’t know how to change a diaper, and putting a onesie on a baby was a daunting task.  Mac was right; Riley would be fine, and they’d be home soon.  “Okay, you’re right.  I’ll stop worrying.”

Mac released Jack and smiled.  “No, you won’t, but you wouldn’t be the Jack Dalton we all know and love if you did.”

“Okay, I’ll worry,” Jack admitted, “but I’ll try to keep it to a minimum.”

“You do that.”  Mac didn’t have high hopes.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The day went pretty smoothly.  Jack still called half a dozen times, even after Matty threatened to tie him to a desk for a month if he didn’t stop calling, but the calls tapered off about 3 pm.  That was midnight in France, so Riley assumed—hoped—Jack was actually getting some sleep. 

Riley spent the day coding, Kelly in the sling or playing happily in the playpen.  Lunch was a little rough, requiring another change of clothes for both Riley and Kelly, and even Matty got caught in the crossfire when a wayward applesauce missile hit her in the face (naturally, she was not pleased), but otherwise, it was the same as every other day at the office since Kelly had come into their lives.

It was when they got home that things went downhill.  Kelly started fussing halfway through a movie and wouldn’t clam down.  Riley gave her Ti-Ti, bounced her on her shoulder, walked around, even took Kelly for a drive, but nothing helped.  “What’s wrong?” Riley demanded, frustrated.

“Da-da!  Ma-ma!”  Great.  She was missing Mac and Jack.  Riley supposed it was only natural, but she wasn’t sure what to do.  It wasn’t like she could magically produce the pair. 

“Shh, sweetheart, they’ll be home soon,” Riley soothed, to no avail.  Riley wished she had a recording with Mac and Jack’s voices.  She’d have to ask for one for next time.  She was kind of surprised one of them hadn’t thought of it.  Maybe if she had something that smelled like them. . .Riley fished in the dresser drawer until she found what she was looking for—Jack’s favorite Metallica shirt.  Jack would probably not be happy that Riley had touched the sacred relic, but she figured it was for a good cause.  Riley dressed Kelly in the shirt.  It was huge on her, but it did seem to calm her down.  She quit fussing and sighed, settling into Riley’s arms.

That lasted until bedtime.  Riley decided to forego the bath, not wanting to risk upsetting Kelly again.  Instead, the hacker gave the baby her bottle and a fresh diaper and laid her in her crib.  Riley placed a kiss on Kelly’s head.  “Goodnight, sweetheart.”  She turned off the light and left the nursery.

The wailing began not five minutes later.  Riley rushed into the nursery.  Kelly was in her crib, face scrunched up, fists flailing, and legs kicking.  She was crying like her heart was broken.  “Shh, shh, it’s okay.”  Riley picked Kelly up and sat with her in the rocking chair, rocking and murmuring soothingly until the baby settled back to sleep.  Riley stood up and gently placed Kelly back in the crib, but the baby started wailing again as soon as Riley stepped away from the crib.  Riley scooped Kelly back up, and she immediately settled down.

“What am I supposed to do now?” Riley wondered.  “I can’t leave you if you’re going to cry all night, but you can hardly sleep with me.”

Kelly reached tiny hands out to Riley.  “Wi-wi.”

Riley sighed.  “Okay, fine.  We’ll give it a try.”

Riley carried Kelly out to the living room and settled her on the couch, laying down behind her.  Riley was clinging to the edge of the couch, about to topple over any second.  That wasn’t going to work.  Worse, Kelly looked like she was about to burst out crying again.  Riley didn’t know what to do.  She couldn’t leave the baby on the outside because she might fall off, and Jack would never forgive Riley.  Riley could lie on her back with Kelly on top of her, but that was just as bad; Kelly could easily roll off.  Riley supposed she could spend the night in the rocking chair, but that would be really uncomfortable, and she probably wouldn’t get much sleep, not that she was likely to anyway.  There was only one thing Riley could think of to try.

Riley carried Kelly into Mac and Jack’s bedroom and lay down on the bed with her.  Kelly let out a sigh and settled back to sleep.  Riley let out a relieved sigh of her own, and they both drifted off.

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Jack rolled out of bed when the alarm went off.  He set about getting dressed and packing his things, whistling all the while.  Mac rolled onto his side and propped himself up on his elbow.  “You’re awfully cheery this morning,” he observed.

“Of course I am,” Jack said.  “We’re going home!”

Mac chuckled at Jack’s enthusiasm.  “That we are.”

Jack turned to face his husband.  “Just think, just a few hours, and we’ll be home with Kelly.”

Mac got up and padded over to Jack, wrapping his arms around the older man.  “Yes, we will.”  He kissed Jack’s cheek.  “I know it’s been hard on you.  You’ve done remarkably well.”

Jack sighed.  “I know it had to happen eventually, and it’ll happen again for even longer, but that doesn’t make it any easier.”

Mac gave Jack another peck, on the lips this time.  “It will be,” he assured Jack.  He let go and stepped back.  “Now, let’s go home.”

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Mac and Jack landed safely in LA.  As soon as they touched down, Jack dialed Riley.  He frowned when the hacker didn’t pick up.  “She’s not answering.  Something must be wrong.”

“She’s probably just buried in a program,” Mac said.  “You know how she is.”  It was true—when Riley was programming, everything and everyone else faded away.  “Try Matty.”

Jack dialed the director.  “Matty, have you heard from Riley?” he asked as soon as the director picked up.

“Relax,” Matty said.  “She called a little while ago.  Kelly didn’t sleep well, so I gave her the morning off.  They should be at home waiting for you.”

Jack breathed a sigh of relief.  “Okay, good.  Thanks, Matty.”

“Don’t mention it, Dalton,” Matty said.

Jack hung up.  “They should be home.”

“They were probably just sound asleep and didn’t hear the phone,” Mac said.

“Probably,” Jack agreed.  He hefted their bags, and they set off for home.

When they got home, Jack was surprised to find the living room empty.  He peeked into the nursery, starting to panic when he noticed the crib was empty.  “Mac, they’re not here!”

“Relax,” Mac said.  “Just come here.”

“But, Mac, where are they?  Maybe something happened!”

“Just come here,” Mac repeated, firmly.

Trying to tamp down the rising panic, Jack went to where his husband was standing at the door of their room.  “What is it, Mac?”

Mac pointed.  “Look,” he said, softly.

Jack looked.  There on the bed, sound asleep, were Riley and Kelly, Kelly wrapped in one of Jack’s t-shirts.  “Ah, how sweet,” Jack cooed.

Mac snapped a quick picture with his phone and moved into the room, Jack following.  Mac gently shook Riley’s shoulder.  “Wake up, Riles, we’re home.”

Jack picked up Kelly.  “Hey, darlin’, miss us?”

“Like you wouldn’t believe,” Riley said, yawning and swinging her legs over the side of the bed.  “I’m really glad you’re home,” she said.

“So are we,” Mac answered.

Jack lifted Kelly high in the air and made a face.  “Yes, we are,” Jack said.  “Daddy Mac and Daddy Jack missed their little sweetheart.  Did you miss us?”

“Ga-ga,” Kelly agreed.


End file.
